


not how it's supposed to go

by gingerpolyglot



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eggsy Unwin as Galahad, Harry Hart Lives, Harry Hart as Arthur, Jealous Harry, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Not Kingsman: The Golden Circle Compliant, Pining Eggsy Unwin, Pining Harry, Reunions, Tilde as a BAMF
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29834319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingerpolyglot/pseuds/gingerpolyglot
Summary: Harry comes back from the dead expecting a dramatic reunion with Eggsy. That's...not quite what happens.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Roxy Morton | Lancelot & Gary "Eggsy" Unwin, Tilde (Kingsman) & Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	not how it's supposed to go

**Author's Note:**

> title from the [Ashe song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TY0h60Qqtkg&ab_channel=AsheMusicVEVO) of the same name and me mishearing the lyrics as "this mansion set you free" *facepalm*
> 
> I am not even going to attempt Eggsy's accent (or Merlin's), but I'll do my best to capture their cadences and vocab. Definitely let me know if something feels off!

Harry is not pacing. 

Gentlemen do not pace, or wring their shaking hands, or tap their fingers on the table, or display any other tic of the sort, and gentleman spies certainly do not have such obvious tells. 

Perhaps he is a tad anxious. Maybe a mite concerned, even a bit worried - but you wouldn't know it by looking at him, because he isn't pacing. 

Merlin watches him out of the corner of his eye with an amused twist to his lips that makes Harry wonder if he can hear his internal monologue. 

Harry does his best to focus on preparing himself for the meeting ahead, but he can't help glancing toward the end of the room every few seconds. The heavy door opens with a whisper of wood on carpet and Harry clasps his hands behind his back - just in case.

Alas, neither of the first Knights to enter is the one he is most eager to see. Kay and Gawain are good agents with excellent poker faces, so their surprise at seeing a dead man standing at the head of the Table is betrayed only in a tiny raise of the eyebrows and a brief glance at Merlin for confirmation. Harry relaxes minutely at the encouraging first reactions. If everyone responds similarly this meeting should be smooth sailing. 

Merlin had sent out the summons to all of the Knights, who are slowly beginning to trickle in from the various corners of the mansion and join Kay and Gawain at the Table. He receives various exclamations of surprise and welcome from agents he'd been closer with and small nods of acknowledgement from the rest. 

Lancelot shakes his hand firmly and tells him welcome back, but she also gives Merlin a sharp look he doesn't have context for. Merlin's responding grimace is even more unsettling. 

Finally, all the Knights present in HQ are assembled except Galahad. Of course Eggsy is the last to arrive; Harry would be annoyed if he hadn't been informed by an amused Percival that Eggsy was being detained by medical and would arrive as soon as he'd been cleared. 

Harry would be lying if he said he hadn't thought about how Eggsy would react to seeing him again. He'd imagined the scene over and over, never sure that he could predict exactly what his protégé would do. He expected surprise, perhaps even disbelief. He'd braced himself for anger and betrayal: Merlin had told him Eggsy hadn't taken his death well, and it wasn't a stretch to assume that the young man would be upset at being kept in the dark about his survival.

Would he yell at him or swing a punch? Harry rather thought he'd let him if he did, he certainly deserved it. Would there be a tearful embrace? Loath as he'd be to see Eggsy upset, Harry had to admit that he wouldn't mind a chance to hold him, even just a "I'm glad you're alive" hug.

He'd dreamed up other versions too, in the rare moments that he stopped pretending that he wasn't arse over teakettle for his candidate. Harry knows his feelings for Eggsy are not exactly gentlemanly. He'd done all that he could to suppress them during training, but he couldn't deny that he'd been anxiously awaiting Eggsy's induction into Kingsman: with Eggsy Knighted they'd at least be closer to equals in position, if not experience. 

Once they were on even footing, he might have considered dropping a hint or two, poking gently at Eggsy to see if it were at all possible he might return his affections. No small amount of his anger at Eggsy in the wake of the dog test had been over losing the chance to explore that potential.

Bored out of his mind in the hospital, his latent romanticism had rather run away with him. He'd fantasized about emotional confessions and relieved embraces, maybe even a kiss...but that was highly unlikely, he always reminded himself. As smitten with Eggsy as he was there was no chance the boy felt the same way, not for a stuffy old man like Harry. Still, he had occasionally let himself dream. 

At long last the door opens again to reveal Eggsy and Harry drinks him in, admiring how well he wears the beautifully-cut suit and wincing over the fresh scrape on his forehead. He'd seen some footage of Eggsy's missions since V-Day, but it wasn't nearly the same as seeing him in person. He straightens himself one last time and stands quietly next to Merlin, waiting for Eggsy to notice him.

The younger man scans the room, giving a concerned glance to Lancelot who is watching him apprehensively. His eyes pass over Harry and Merlin as he moves to take his seat before he freezes and jerks his head back to the head of the table. 

Harry runs through all the scenarios he'd dreamed up. Will Eggsy punch him? Cry? Laugh? Kiss him? 

Eggsy does none of these things, instead raising a hand to rub his forehead and turning to Merlin. 

"Merlin, I think I need to go back to medical," he says. Merlin furrows his brow.

"Of course lad, but I thought they just cleared you." 

Eggsy nods, then winces. "Yeah they did, but see, I think I'm hallucinating and I didn't think the concussion was that bad." 

This concerns Merlin until he sees the way Eggsy's eyes keep darting between him and Harry, who is standing frozen a foot or so to his left. Merlin will deny it as long as he lives, but a small piece of his heart breaks as he realizes what conclusion Eggsy has drawn. He tries to school his face into something gentle.

"No, lad," he starts. "You're not hallucinating. Harry-"

"I'm alive," Harry interjects. This is it, he thinks. He can see the wheels in Eggsy's head turning. This is the moment that Eggsy will smile at him or start shouting or-

"Oh," Eggsy says, very softly. His face is blank as a white wall, and without another word he takes his seat at the Table. 

All of Harry's trains of thought crash into each other. The Eggsy that Harry remembers wore his heart on his sleeve; not being able to read his every emotion and thought is like waking up and realizing he can't read his favorite book. Harry stares at what he can see of Eggsy's head over his chair. Still reeling, he takes his own seat as Merlin opens the meeting. 

The meeting itself goes smoothly. Harry is reinstated as an agent and promptly voted in as Arthur, various Knights (but not Eggsy) speaking up about his qualifications and seniority. No one mentions his new limitations. Unanimous vote concluded, everyone toasts to his good health and the meeting is adjourned. 

Harry immediately turns to see what Eggsy will do - with a brief flash of hope, he considers that perhaps Eggsy wished to reunite in private, instead of in front of the whole of Kingsman? But no, while the now officially re-confirmed Galahad isn't running from the room, neither is he lingering. 

He waits for Lancelot to stand and she takes his proffered arm, squeezing gently. She then ushers him out of the room at a measured pace that is in no way reminiscent of a tactical retreat, and then they're gone. Harry sags in his chair (though he doesn't go so far as to slouch) and sighs heavily. 

Merlin claps a hand on his shoulder. "So I'm guessing that didn't exactly go the way you'd imagined, did it?" 

Harry glares at him. 

* * *

Harry says "I'm alive" and Eggsy's brain grinds to a halt. 

He'd had a rough mission in Peru and he'd fallen out of an exploding building onto a packed-dirt field, so he was bruised to hell and back on top of the ringing in his ears. Medical had cleared him, said the mild concussion was more from the blast than the fall and that as long as he was careful for a few days he should be fine, which is why when he sees a dead man standing in the Dining Room his first thought is that he probably needs a CT scan or an MRI or whatever it is neurologists do in order to figure out how fucked your brain is. 

Then Merlin tells him he's not hallucinating, and Harry speaks, and Eggsy processes several things in quick succession:

First, Harry is alive. He somehow survived being shot at point-blank range and barely has a scar to show for it.

Second, Harry is up and walking and seems to be in decent health all around, which means that Harry has been awake and recovering for at least a few months. 

Third, this is clearly not news to Merlin, who is evidently a far better actor than Eggsy had suspected. Merlin hadn't let on even a vague suspicion that something was amiss; Eggsy certainly hadn't had any idea that his erstwhile mentor was still alive, at least not beyond desperate bargaining when he was in the depths of his grief (or the bottom of a bottle).

It is this last point that sticks with him, and in the space of a few breaths he follows the logic. Merlin had known Harry was alive. The two of them had decided not to tell anyone Harry was alive - including Eggsy. Eggsy is smart enough to realize what an opportunity having a "dead" agent would be for Kingsman, but Harry had to have family, somewhere. 

If it'd been Eggsy, the first thing he would have insisted on was contacting his mum and Daisy, and maybe his mates. Roxy and Merlin too, assuming they didn't already know. But Harry had contacted Merlin, or Merlin had found Harry, and they decided no one else was important enough to know the truth - and Harry didn't care enough about any other person to tell them there wasn't any need to mourn. 

"Oh," he says, feeling small and naive. He calls on every ounce of practice he's ever had in keeping a poker face and does his best to hide the storm of betrayal and embarrassment swirling through him. He takes his seat and doesn't look at the head of the Table again for the whole meeting, though of course he votes for Harry as Arthur. 

He goes to Roxy after the meeting adjourns, offering his arm like a proper gentleman to hide his need for someone to ground him. She grasps his arm and gives him a reassuring squeeze, already whispering to him about plans with Ryan and Jamal and Tilde if she's in town to go out and get absolutely plastered. He nods absently and lets her guide him out of the room, refusing to look back. 

He knows he disappointed Harry before Kentucky, knows that Harry hadn't had any investment in Eggsy beyond repaying his father, but he'd still foolishly let himself believe that maybe some of it was for him, too. Maybe Harry had cared about him on his own merit. Clearly, he'd been wrong. 

Since he stormed out of Harry's house and into the confrontation with the previous Arthur, he's been trying to live up to the potential Harry saw in him as well as his legacy. He's done his best to be a good agent and a gentleman, and while things don't always go to plan he thinks he's done an alright job. Now, though, an "alright job" won't cut it. He won't give Harry any possible reason to regret proposing him, especially not over something as silly as some hurt feelings. 

He barely notices when Roxy shoves him into a cab and gives the address of some new club downtown. He listens to her tap away at her phone and stares out the window and resolves to be as professional as humanly possible going forward. 

He blinks when the cab pulls up. He mumbles a thanks as he and Roxy get out and he finally cracks a smile when he spots Ryan and Jamal hanging around the entrance looking intimidated. They light up when they spot him and give him some lighthearted ribbing about the suit, and they all head in. His mood is further improved when a statuesque blonde in a tiny blue dress plops down next to him, and suddenly Tilde is pressing a kiss to his cheek and smiling at him with an understanding tilt to her head. 

Eggsy looks over Tilde's shoulder and catches Roxy's eye where she's bantering with his boys and mouths "thank you." She smiles at him, then flags down a waiter and orders them all a round of shots. 

Two beers and another four rounds of shots later, Eggsy can feel his control slipping. They've all relaxed more as the booze keeps coming - Tilde's shoes have been abandoned and her feet are resting in Eggsy's lap, while he and Roxy have lost their ties and jackets. Ryan and Jamal are leaning into one another the way they do when they get tipsy, and finally Jamal looks Eggsy dead in the eye and asks the question they've been avoiding all night.

"You alright, mate?"

And Eggsy just breaks. He doesn't start bawling, but he finally lets go of the poker face he's been maintaining since Merlin told him he wasn't hallucinating. 

"He was just standing there," he says, "like nothing had happened." The three non-agents nod, so Eggsy assumes Roxy gave them the civilian version of what happened when she made the plans for tonight. 

"He just - he was fucking shot, in the fucking head, and he's just standing there like it's all fine and I haven't spent the past 18 months trying to deal, y'know? And no one told me! And I get it, I'm not family, I'm not anything to him, not now that I'm not even his candidate, but fucking hell, Merlin watched me grieve for months and never said anything!" 

Tilde shifts so her arms are wrapped around him, and god, this is why he loves her. After he killed Valentine he'd meant to sweep into her room all suave-like, save the day and get the girl like in the movies, but as soon as the door had closed behind him and Merlin had muted his feed it was like the past two days had caught up with him at once and he'd just collapsed. 

Tilde, fucking goddess among women that she is, hadn't even blinked, just helped him onto the couch and held him and let him talk. Then he'd held her hand and let her talk about how she'd been betrayed by her own PM and how worried she was about her parents. After, she'd made him give her his number and told him that they were friends now and she expected to hear from him when she texted him. 

Ryan and Jamal give him sympathetic looks from their perch. 

"It's bloody bollocks, is what it is mate," says Ryan. Jamal nods in agreement. 

"Fuck," Eggsy exhales. "I just missed him so much," he says quietly, and apparently that's the tipping point where he starts crying. His mates let him cry and rant a bit longer before packing it in and taking him home. 

Everyone piles into his house and they camp out in the living room. Roxy is somehow the most sober despite drinking more than any of them so she makes the requisite run to the medicine cabinet for paracetamol and glasses of water. 

She snags a few spare blankets from the linen closet and dumps them on everyone when she returns. There are a few grumbles but they all grab a blanket and pass out where they are. Eggsy has sobered up just enough to poke Roxy where she's curling up next to him. 

"What?" she asks, half asleep.   
"You're the best, Rox," he says. "Thanks."  
"Got your back, Galahad," she says with a smile. They both fall asleep soon after that. 

Michelle Unwin comes downstairs the next morning to find two international spies, a Swedish princess, and a couple of estate chavs in a puppy pile on the floor of her living room, complete with actual puppy curled up next to Eggsy's head. 

She debates not taking pictures for half a second before deciding that it's her right as Eggsy's mum, and if Ryan and Jamal's mothers also happen to get a copy? Well, the three of them have basically shared custody of the boys since they were in primary school, so it's only fair. 

Blackmail obtained, Michelle goes to the kitchen to start making breakfast - she does not envy the hangovers the kids are going to have when they wake up.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/gingerpolyglot)


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